UHRG stands for Universal House Rule Generator, a system to give new life to old and unbalanced games. UHRG, as a modern oracle, can only show your way if you answer some questions that will help him understand the game (follow the instructions from paragraph 1). If you happen to doubt about the importance of the UHRG, of the reliability of its answers and the relevance of its questions, remember that UHRG is never wrong, while I personally doubt about your competence. Also because of this, UHRG will try to talk plain and simple.

1. What kind of game is it? Wargame (go to 12), card game (7), role game (26), board game (8) other (14).

2. If you are the same player who is trying to screw me, go to (21). If you are really a Game Master go to (13).

3. If you are really playing the game I think you are playing, go to (30). Otherwise go to (37). If you had problem with the sequence of tenses of the last sentence go to (82).

4. It is now important to know if it is a path game (30) or a word game (30) or a dungeon crawl (30) or other (30).

5. After considering everything UHRG gives you the perfect house rul#@12cgttevw.... FATAL ERROR.

6. If the game reproduces the battles of the American civil war in autumn 1859 (23), for any other setting (31).

7. If it is a collectable card game (27), if not (10).

8. If the board game you are talking about can also be played in bed, or in the car, or in the lift, or on the washing machine, go to (33). Otherwise go to (11).

9. I see an employment agency in your future.

10. Count the cards of the game, divide by three and go to that paragraph.

11. Is it a german game? If so go to (35), if not go to (4).

12. Hexagonal (6) or three-dimensional map (6)?

13. Are there girls in your group? If so go to (32), if not go to (39).

14. Are you sure that your game is not in one of the four categories? If so, go to (24), if not, then you are just wasting my time… go back to (1).

15. Do you really think that after all the labour, love and care behind the publication of a game, somebody comes out telling that he doesn’t like it? You ungrateful… Blame on you!

16. When will you grow up?

17. Oh, come on!

18. Choice number one (15), Choice number two (40), Choice number three (29) or Choice number four (5)?.

19. Really sure? If so go to (19). If not, go back to (1).

20. I see, I see… I’ve always hated seeing the blood.

21. I’m not authorized to talk to you, unless you have the A38 pass.

22. Do you want to know more about love (38), work (9) or health (20)?

23. Got you! That war began in 1860. You can’t screw the UHRG.

24. Really sure? If so go to (19). If not, go back to (1).

25. If you are reading this one, then you cheated, as no paragraph brings you here.

26. Are you a player (21) or a Game Master (2)?

27. If you are more than thirthy and your group is made of kids, whom you also try to cheat, go to (16). Otherwise go to (28).

28. If yours is a water sign, (22). If you are a woman and your sign is Cancer ascendant Pisces, (36). Otherwise (30).

29. The answer is 42.

30. If it is the first time you get to this paragraph, then the UHRG hasn’t got a clear idea about your game (obviously because you haven’t been clear); go back to (1).
If it is the second time, go to (18).
If it is the third one, go wherever you want.

31. This paragraph is useless. Go to (30).

32. And are you still thinking about house rules?

33. Come on! If you contact me in private, I can suggest very good house rules to expand the number of players.

34. Neither if you show me.

35. You know Germans. They are very touchy. I don’t think it is a good idea to change their games.

36. The stars tell that we are a perfect couple. The UHRG says so.

37. Do you think that I am wrong-thinking? Blame on you.

38. Maybe you could be a cuckold…

39. Is the setting sci-fi (34), contemporary (17) or fantasy (3)?

40. What about going to buy a new game? Come on, don't be cheap!